this is more anecdotal amnesia things, but i believe it could be like not remembering stuff "you" did at all, or being told you acted different before and having no recollection of when that happened?
everyones experiences are going to be a bit different so it’s very hard to label a thoughtform in someone else’s head but I’m my opinion it does sound like you have something alike from a tulpa, or just a tulpa
Feeling overly disconnected from your surroundings, thoughts, or identity in a manner that distresses you
Lapses in memory that cannot be otherwise explained by other things going on
Feeling like you aren't in your body, or that things happening around you aren't real, etc.
cynamin ↩️
Reply to: What would dissociation mean in this context?
1
6:18 AM
These are just some examples. Dissociation can be as benign as daydreaming, and as severe as having blackouts that last a long time. We're mainly focused on dissociation that causes you harm or distress, or interrupts functioning in your daily life.
1. Yes, this especially. This is why I came in the first place. I was stuck in my own thoughts and was severely distressing to me. All I could really think about was the thought of all these people, real or otherwise, fighting for control in my head. It feels like I'm not letting them. I don't know how to let them. I don't even know if they're real or not. I don't know if this is the same thing as what was described here, but I figured I'd mention anyway.
2. Well, I do have a really shitty memory and I tend to forget where I put things sometimes, what I was doing in a certain room, that kind of stuff, but idk if that's the same thing. As I said, I just chalk it down to me having a shitty memory and never thought more of it
3. This also happens occasionally, but I don't know if it happens enough to say it's frequent. On rare occasions it feels like nothing around me is real, and I've definitely felt like I wasn't in my body, or that my body wasn't mine, or both sometimes.(edited)
Vos ˗ˏˋM&M´ˎ˗
These are just some examples. Dissociation can be as benign as daydreaming, and as severe as having blackouts that last a long time. We're mainly focused on dissociation that causes you harm or distress, or interrupts functioning in your daily life.
I've never really blacked out before, I don't think.
cynaminty
But he isn't a psychologist, far as I'm aware. Neither am I. I don't want to self-diagnose or anything because I feel like that might be disrespectful to those who are plural, especially if it turns out that I'm not myself.
I don't want to self-diagnose or anything because I feel like that might be disrespectful to those who are plural, especially if it turns out that I'm not myself.
tbh if ur experience of plurality is distressing/disorderly and you feel like your symptoms fit under a certain diagnosis then go for it, its ok to be wrong, doctors can be wrong too!
if it’s tulpas, or something tulpa like, you aren’t required to keep them. Your own mental health is more important. But if you do want to live with them tulpamancy will likely help. Even if it’s confusing or chaotic right now, you can make structure so that you can live happily with them
6:39 AM
its distressing right now because you don’t understand what it is and you don’t have communication. But that can be fixed! You got this far already, it’s probably not going to be hard to get the proper structure for you all. Especially when now you have guidance
I just want to figure this out so I stop worrying about it
6:44 AM
God, i feel extremely weird
6:45 AM
Physically and mentally
6:47 AM
I walked in and out of the bathroom but it doidn't really feel like me doing it. I don't feel liek myself right onw. i'm barely looking at the screen, im not watching myself type this, it doesn't feel like me
God i'm really sorry if i sound dumb talking about this or asking these questions- i'm going through an extremely distressing time in my life right now and this stacked on top of it isn't hekoonug
just keep telling yourself that you are you. Pick an identity, obviously your own, and stick to it. Even if it feels like something wasn’t you, claim that action or thought. That’s what we do when someone feels like they are struggling like that.
@cynaminty i think you should see a professional if you're distressed about what's happening and think things through with them, some people can develop DID-like symptoms from reading what DID is and overthinking if they fit the descriptions(edited)
8:21 AM
random people on the internet arent really qualified to say what you're going through, especially when it comes to mental health
8:21 AM
just to be clear im not saying this in a rude manner
8:27 AM
if you think a lot about a certain thing your thoughts start being filtered through that thing, some people who start tulpamancy sometimes start seeing their ego states (how you are a bit different at work/school, at home, with friends etc) as different headmates, even though they are still just them
8:29 AM
same might happen with kin stuff (i really have no knowledge about the whole subject at all), but again, i dont know much about you, so i can't really say anything else other than to try to see a professional if you're having a hard time(edited)
Friend says I've definitely suffered through enough trauma to develop signs of DID
@cynaminty - jump
i would definitely not recommend getting medical advice or diagnosis from a friend
9:11 AM
But then again, I have to ask myself if whether or not they're actually sentient beings, or just figments of my imagination.
@cynaminty - jump
it’s not really a thing to discover, but a thing to decide. would you like them to be sentient, or would you not? then your decision drives the process
9:14 AM
Well, that's the thing. I never really feel like a different person when I do it. I just feel like, me.
@cynaminty - jump
so just this makes me thing that what you are experiencing is identity crisis which is normal and quite common for people and can happen for many different reasons, and that you are a person with a very creative imagination - it is a great base for tulpamancy if it’s something you would like to pursue - rather than having DID
9:15 AM
if you feel like you experienced a lot of distress or trauma in your life, it’s still worth addressing it with a therapist if/when you have an opportunity. but don’t have any expectations, initially i wouldn’t recommend even considering if you have DID or not, let a doctor give you an opinion
so just this makes me thing that what you are experiencing is identity crisis which is normal and quite common for people and ca...
@Leiko (@KiTkAT( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧/jk) - jump
I think it's something worth pursuing. I feel free, and I like being around. I'm almost fairly certain I'm a different person from cyn, but I don't know if I get to decide that.
KRIS. | they/them
so just this makes me thing that what you are experiencing is identity crisis which is normal and quite common for people and ca...
@Leiko (@KiTkAT( •̀ .̫ •́ )✧/jk) - jump
I think it's something worth pursuing. I feel free, and I like being around. I'm almost fairly certain I'm a different person from cyn, but I don't know if I get to decide that.
Yeah, I'm also thinking they might be tulpas because it never really felt like any of them were fronting at any point
@cynaminty - jump
I can share my experiences!
I have other clones of myself in my head. I consider myself median. While you may or may not see yourself that way, I hope this can help.
I suppose I don't "become" my clones because I don't see myself as that feeling of being alive and looking through the eyes. If that's how you identify yourself, I can translate-
Our stream of consciousness (what you would consider the real you, I will call the SOC) "becomes" a different personality when we choose to switch. Right now, the SOC has become Gray (my host), but the SOC has become me before. While this gives me a notably different experience, I think this is more an issue with being median than "becoming" your headmates.
As me, my clones can feel more seprate or more like me depending on the context. If I feel something universally, all of my clones will feel something. If I feel something is specific to one clone, there will be some separation. I find that if I feel disconnected from a clone, sometimes we need to "update" our thoughts and we do so by focusing on us being connected and using symbolism.
It is important to care for yourself. I have argued with myself as my clones before, and all of your parts deserve love and respect. If one clone hurts, it is important to care for them. If arguments are related to who does what, it helps to establish roles. My Dream part is responsible for interacting with my headmates and others online, so that prevents any arguments on who of my clones shall be in control regarding that.
I hope this helps
Advice from a tulpa: you get to decide what these headmates are--even if they're headmates or not. What do you WANT them to be? That's the most important question to ask.
Leiko
if you feel like you experienced a lot of distress or trauma in your life, it’s still worth addressing it with a therapist if/when you have an opportunity. but don’t have any expectations, initially i wouldn’t recommend even considering if you have DID or not, let a doctor give you an opinion
Also, this is good advice--if you have trauma or something that is causing you some amount of negative emotion, regardless of any other problems you fix, you deserve to feel happy--and fixing those issues with a professional is something which is usually very helpful
blanka
Advice from a tulpa: you get to decide what these headmates are--even if they're headmates or not. What do you WANT them to be? That's the most important question to ask.
We are all somewhat ourselves, and somewhat input from the environment--sometimes, the input from the environment is overwhelming, and we can't do much to stop it; other times, it's just advice from a friend, and we can choose to take it on or ignore it
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